Navigating Success: Blended Families and Entrepreneurship

Mia McLeod:
I didn’t want there to be kind of like a my girls and the stepson situation. We’ve never really used the word stepson in our family. We don’t really refer to that word.

Laura Jenkins:
In The Blend is a podcast series that helps parents and step parents navigate life in a blended family. Join me as I speak with experts and guests to get practical advice on how to create a more harmonious blended family life. Having grown up in a blended family and now a decade into raising one of my own, I bring a personal perspective to these conversations and we dive deep into the unique dynamics, logistics and challenges of raising a blended family. From new partners to juggling mixed finances, we will help guide you through it.

Welcome back to In The Blend. Today, I am excited to bring you a conversation with my friend Mia McLeod, the founder of Digital Collective, which is a boutique marketing agency and a dedicated member of a blended family. In our chat, Mia opens up about her entrepreneurial journey from founding Digital Collective to navigating the delicate balance between work and family commitments. She shares invaluable insights into effective communication, maintaining flexibility and prioritising self-care – all essential elements for success in both business and blended family life. We also talk Pelotons, the ‘less is more’ communication policy, and why everything comes back to figuring out your priorities and aligning them with your actions.

Before we dive in, I do want to share some exciting news. My new online program, the Bonus Mum Blueprint, designed specifically for stepmums, is launching in just a few weeks time now. So if you’re ready to transform your blended family experience, be sure to visit intheblend.com.au to join the waitlist.

All right, without further ado, let’s jump in to my conversation with Mia McLeod.

Welcome, Mia. It is so lovely to have you on the show.

Now, Mia, I thought we might start off just by giving listeners a little bit of context as to how you and I know one another. I was referred your way by the lovely Darcy at Pro Podcast Production, who does all of the wonderful editing for this show. And I reached out to Darcy because I was looking for a digital agency who could really help me take In The Blend to the next level. And he very kindly pointed me in your direction, Mia. We have figured out we’ve got quite a bit in common, not just a marketing background, but we’re both from blended families. So it felt only fitting to have you on the show today, Mia and I. have also been working very closely together on something super exciting which is going to be launching in a couple of weeks time now and that is my first online program which is called the Bonus Mum Blueprint and Mia and her amazing team have done a power of work helping me bring that dream to life.

Mia McLeod:
Well thank you so much for having me on In The Blend, I’ve been obviously very keenly watching you over the last at least 12 months and yeah, Darcy brought us together and helped us connect and I love seeing In The Blend and it’s just such a great tool and resource for people who are going through blended family situations or not even blended family, just situations where they’re having to deal with other families other than their own. So it’s been exciting to work with you on the Bonus Fund Blueprint, which is going to be an incredible course resource, particularly for mums, but I think for everyone who’s navigating how to bring other children into families. And that’s a big passion point of mine. Obviously, I’m in a blended family like you. So that’s something that I’ve been in probably for about eight years now. And so, yeah, I’m excited to be talking to you today.

Laura Jenkins:
Awesome. Well, let’s actually start with your marketing background, Mia, and I’d love to hear a little bit about how you or how Digital Collective was born and what led you to that point.

Mia McLeod:
Well, probably like most women, working in corporate life becomes quite tricky and challenging. When I had my second daughter, I was working for Universal Music and it was definitely before COVID and it was before, I guess, flexibility had become something more of a norm. So it was much more tricky to navigate being a parent and full-time career person. So at the point at which I had Poppy, I decided that it was time for me to kind of step out and do my own business, which is something I’d wanted to do for a long time, just in order to try and, you know, be able to have my career plus also navigate being a mom for the second time and obviously juggling two little kids. Added a new layer of dimension. So I started the business as a consultancy back then and then an agency around 2020 actually when we all kind of had to stay home for a period of time and that’s when Digital Collective was really able to be worked on properly as an agency model and we’re a remote agency so we all work in our own locations. Quite a number of us are mums or some are mums-to-be. Some aren’t mums, some are not mums yet but they’re also, I guess, probably of the generation where they like to have a balance between their life and their work life. So, definitely, working from home suits them as well. We all meet up in our one-day office once a week or regularly, I guess, and work on shoots and things and so we’re out and about but predominantly, we work from home and that actually works really well for our business. because we manage everything on Slack and Zoom and Google Meet and Google Docs. So it all kind of works quite well, but allows us to kind of, you know, have our own personal lives kind of working quite well as well. So that’s been a big benefit of having an agency like that.

Laura Jenkins:
Oh, definitely. Definitely. I love the whole working asynchronously world that we live in now with all of these amazing online tools that allow us to really work from anywhere. And yeah, pretty, pretty inspiring to see the business that you’ve now built up having started that all on your own from scratch. So, yeah.

Mia McLeod:
Yes, I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t do it again. I’m glad I didn’t at the beginning. But yes, it is something I’m very proud of and we’ve got an incredible team of people who’ve been with us for a long time and I think, you know, we’ve got some incredible clients as well. So, we’re able to work on really interesting projects with a lot of female founders like you, Laura, who are very inspiring and have got a mission and we do like working with particularly founders who are on a mission to change the world for the better. You definitely fall in that category.

Laura Jenkins:
Oh, I love it. I love it. So Mia, let’s now talk a little bit about your blended family. So could you share with the listeners what your specific family dynamic looks like?

Mia McLeod:
Well, I’ve told this story quite a lot of times because it is actually a really good story. was probably about eight or so years ago. I was recently out of my first marriage and I had a young daughter and at that time she was about two-ish or she was just over two and I went on a date with someone who was kind of, you know, it was the first date and we’d been talking and he was like, oh you’re free and you can go and travel the world and he didn’t realize I had a daughter. And I was like, well, no, I can’t really do that. And he was like, no, but you’ve got a great job and you could travel and live overseas. And I was like, I really can’t do that. And he’s like, why? What’s stopping you? And I was like, well, actually, he was like, I’ve got a son. And I was like, oh. And so it turned out that we both had a child, a boy and a girl, exactly the same age, literally six weeks apart. So we’re in a very similar situation. and instantly had this very big connection of having that, being on that single parent journey. And look, it feels like eight years ago, that was quite an uncommon situation, especially having a child that young. So we were both quite overwhelmed to meet someone else who had that situation you know, also to contend with. So we very kind of quickly kind of connected over that and obviously started a relationship and then we had our own daughter Poppy quite quickly. And so then very quickly we were all living together. So there was three children, little children, pretty little children in our family dynamic. Plus also two, and we weren’t even really, we were separated and living separately from our ex husband and wives, but we weren’t officially divorced from either of them. So we were still going through, we were quite in the middle of that, which was pretty intense, I guess is one way of saying it, where you’re kind of navigating through I guess child separation and how you allocate time and then also your financial situation as well. So there was a lot to go through. It was a very intense period or number of years actually.

Laura Jenkins:
That is a lot, especially with the two two-year-olds. It’d be like having twins in some ways.

Mia McLeod:
Well, it was actually quite good for them because I think, I mean, not that they were that aware at the time, but you know, they certainly had someone who was in exactly their same boat. So even things like moving between mum and dad’s house, you know, they each were doing that. So they could kind of, you know, have that piece of strangeness in common between them. So it seemed, I guess, their life seemed quite normal, probably. And then obviously they had each other as playmates. And, you know, we were very quickly, I think one of the big wins that we got from the beginning was that we matched up our weekends. We synced them weekends so that we both had the kids on the weekend, the same weekend, which was a big, important step for us to have that family time because as part of a blended family, you are kind of navigating one child being in or out of your house quite a lot and that is very disruptive if you don’t actually ever get the kids all together and you really miss out on that family experience. So that was a big important kind of consideration for us that we would have that time together as a family.

Laura Jenkins:
Yeah, I think that makes a ton of sense and it’s nice for the kids and it’s nice for you as well as you say having that big family dynamic. Were you starting the business at the time that you met your now husband?

Mia McLeod:
Yeah, I was kind of in the process of, I had the consultancy launched already. Oh, actually, no, I just started the consultancy. So I was literally just stepping out. I was at Universal when I met him and then I was stepping into the consultancy when I had Poppy. And then the business started a couple of years after that. Sorry, the agency started a couple of years after that. That was probably four years ago that I started the agency itself. It was more consulting before that.

Laura Jenkins:
Okay, so busy, busy times on all fronts.

Mia McLeod:
Very busy times and really the only way that kind of worked was having, we had at the time, we had a lot of au pairs, living au pairs. Great. So that was definitely a lifesaver when two people working pretty full time. With young children, it was quite a navigation. But it was also, at the end of that period, kind of the reason of needing to launch the agency and have that flexible working situation. Because really working in other companies and having that kind of clock watching feeling going on wasn’t really feasible with that dynamic of kind of picking up kids from here, there and everywhere on different days of the week at different times. it was becoming quite overwhelming. You kind of did need at least one parent or one parent to be more flexible to have that ability to kind of navigate the pickups and drop-offs.

Laura Jenkins:
Oh, definitely, definitely. And so you had the au pair or au pairs over the years and you’ve had the agency and the flexible work. Are there any other tactics that you might have implemented to help you manage the running of that successful business while also showing up as a really active member of your family?

Mia McLeod:
I think a shared diary with your partner is a big must-have. Just having good communication on where you are meant to be at what time and having that child-centric mentality at the forefront of your time management and planning. I think that’s been a big part of the success. And I think if just you do You really do have to just suck it up. There are certain things that sound crazy to other people and we do probably a lot more driving around than other people, I guess. You have to just get used to your new normal and that isn’t very conventional. In the beginning, people would say, let’s do something this weekend and it’s like, well, we don’t have the kids that weekend. or we only have one kid or we only have two kids so we don’t like to do things when we don’t have all of them together. So that took quite a few years for people to get used to. I think even now people don’t, you know, still after all these years don’t really, you know, quite understand how that all makes sense. But it kind of makes sense to us. But you do have to be really flexible and really, I think, resilient as well. And just, you know, make sure you’re there on time and everything else kind of has to fit around that.

Laura Jenkins:
Oh, definitely. You’ve got to be highly, highly organised, don’t you, to keep all the moving parts intact.

Mia McLeod:
You both have to do it. You can’t really do it with one that isn’t. You have to both kind of show up for that. That’s a key part of it.

Laura Jenkins:
That’s so true. Matt and I often say it only takes one thing for the wheels to fall off. So it might be that Matt gets COVID and he can’t get out of bed for three days and there’s this massive knock-on effect then of all the different things that kind of fall over as a result of that.

Mia McLeod:
Oh yeah, you’re the epitome of the swan with the feet going crazily underneath the water. Like that is literally what’s going on. You look calm because you’re sweating.

Laura Jenkins:
Oh definitely, definitely. And we haven’t been shy to getting help. We have nannies in the morning and in the afternoon and that really helps just share the load and does make things a little bit easier in times of crisis as well if one of you is out of action for whatever reason. Yeah. Let’s talk a little bit about challenges and no doubt you’ve had a ton of challenges starting out as an entrepreneur, doing your own thing, having come from a long career in the corporate world. No doubt there were lots of hurdles to face as you are getting that new business off the ground. And then at the same time, you’re navigating things like ex-partners and new babies and telling people you’re pregnant and potentially worrying about what others are thinking about what I’m doing or all those sorts of things. How did you, or perhaps what were some of the biggest challenges or the challenges that hit you the hardest and how have you navigated those?

Mia McLeod:
Yeah, there’s so many of them. I think all of the things you just said actually resonated with me in the sense that, you know, we got pregnant pretty quickly after we had started a relationship and You know, there was part of me that was kind of very scared about that situation and being a single mom at that point, then jumping straight into a new relationship and then having a baby with someone that, you know, you’re very fresh into a relationship with. And I guess, you know, there’s a part of you that has to kind of Trust, use your trust, use your instincts and trust. Although saying that, they hadn’t fared that well up until that point. So I don’t know why I was using those so strongly. But as you get older, you realize you don’t have as much control over it as you think. And so it’s really just a kind of an acceptance of the situation that you’re faced with at the time and just trying to deal with things one step at a time. There’s plenty of things that I would do differently if I had my time again, for sure, like communication with exes. That is a big one. I think a less is more policy would definitely be something that I applied if I was having my time again or a none is more policy. You know, like you don’t need to respond to every email. You don’t need to respond to every text. You don’t need to respond to anything at all. In fact, you know, the less you respond, the better, you know, think about what you want to say and do before you jump straight into a reactive response. I think in the beginning when you’re going through any kind of new family situation there’s going to be quite a lot of tension even though you feel completely justified in our case both of us had been the person that had been left in the relationship so we felt very valid validated that we weren’t doing anything wrong but saying that it wasn’t that wasn’t necessarily how it came across when we were announcing our new relationship and our new baby to everyone, it came up as a bit of a shock to everyone. So there was a lot of what I would say feelings going on, on not just our side but on their side too, which I think was a bit of a shock for us because we didn’t expect that. So, you know, it was a lot and, you know, like you say that the introduction of a new baby is a big thing. It’s, you know, it’s amazing how a new baby can really ruffle feathers in new relationship or old relationships. And I think it did really, that probably did show up a bit in ours. And also, you’ve got to integrate them with your children and find the balance of what kind of parenting you are, you know, parenting you do. I saw one of your posts this week about discipline of a stepchild. You have to figure all that stuff out. Who’s the parent that does the rules and things? It’s naturally obviously going to be the mother figure, but in a blended family world, is that the role? There’s not two mothers. There’s only one biological mother. How do you navigate all of that?

Laura Jenkins:
Especially in your situation where you’ve got two that are your own and one that’s not your own, so then your role is different across those three children. But do you show up the same way for the three kids or are you holding back on the discipline front with your stepson because you’re not the biological mum? Those sorts of things.

Mia McLeod:
Yeah. I think when you have them when they’re so young, I think it’s probably easier in the sense that they just, in a way, fall into the routine of your household. And I guess we did have 50-50 custody of him in the beginning before he went to school, which was probably good for us in the sense of our household. It might have been tricky for him, in fact, just understanding how being so little, how he kind of He had no idea what was going on really at that age. I took the approach, and I’m not sure if it’s right or wrong, but I guess because he was so small that I would just treat all the kids the same way, exactly the same way. There would be no preference to any child in the house. They all kind of get the same level of love and discipline, you know, parenting. So I didn’t want there to be kind of like a, my girls and the stepson situation. We’ve never really used the word stepson in our family. We don’t really use it. We don’t really refer to that word. It’s not avoided, but it’s just kind of not, we just never really referenced that. It’s just like it’s our son and our daughters.

Laura Jenkins:
Our family. Yeah.

Mia McLeod:
Our family, exactly. But I guess as they get older and a bit more aware, naturally, they are more curious about what’s going on and why. It’s funny, even to this day, literally over the course of eight years, they’ve hardly asked a question. They’re still not there yet. The older ones are 11 years old now. and they still really haven’t asked many, not many questions and I guess we’ve got a policy as well of kind of, we’re not going to kind of talk about it unless we’re asked a specific question. It’s not something we’re going to be giving them the ins and outs at this age. They’re still too young. So if they ask a specific question, we’ll try and answer it as honestly and carefully as possible. But I guess we’re not going into tons of detail yet. They’re still a few years off.

Laura Jenkins:
I’m curious to ask you about self-care because knowing how much you’ve got on and I know you’ve got a raft of clients in addition to the work that you help me with. So how do you go about making time for you?

Mia McLeod:
Well, I’ve got a Peloton in the house. I think if I didn’t have that in the house, I don’t know if I’d do much exercise. I used to love going to F45 and kind of going to the gym and doing it really religiously. And actually, when you’ve got an au pair, that is a great benefit of that. You can kind of walk out of the house without needing to make any plans or navigate. You just kind of leave and come back. And so since not having that built-in babysitter there, it is a bit trickier to kind of find the time. But that definitely is my kind of go-to exercise. And I try and do that, if not every day, every other day. you know, at least get 20 or 20 minutes on there and just try and make it happen even if I don’t want to. And then beyond that, I kind of like, I will have the odd massage and facial and things. It’s a bit more sporadic. I get my nails done every few weeks and just, you know, try and carve out a bit of time. I mean, I think as a, you know, a business owner, when you’ve got your own, you kind of carve out your own plan, you are able to find those little windows of time that you don’t need to ask permission from a boss or anyone else. You just kind of make it fit into your schedule and it will happen. I often have the computer there. Every time I get my hair done, I’m there with the computer doing work through it. My computer isn’t very far away from me, but it all seems to work in a bit of a messy way. What are your tips?

Laura Jenkins:
Oh, look, for self-care, for me, I think movement is a big one as well. And I was actually inspired by you, Mia, just after we first met and you were telling me about the Peloton. And so I went out and bought something very similar, which is a Nordic track bike, which does the same thing. So yeah, like you, I just love the ease of being able to jump on that. I know, it’s so good, isn’t it? It is, it is. And then I think as well just having time to do something that you want to do during a given week, whether it’s going out to have a wine with a girlfriend or even just reading a book that you’re enjoying for an hour unencumbered, those sorts of things I think can just do a lot in helping to fill up your tank if you’re feeling a little bit run ragged by the demands of your job and all the other people in your life whom you’re looking after.

Mia McLeod:
I think I do love a Yin Yoga class as well actually and there’s a new heated yoga place in Avalon that is amazing. So that’s been a really nice addition to my week when I can slot that in. And the other thing as well, and I kind of imagined me saying this a few years ago, but I did start doing a few little meditations, actually. And it is amazing the power of a morning meditation, if you can kind of just, even five minutes, just listening to someone’s voice kind of talk you through breathing and things. And I think that is something I would, I still want to find the time to just, or find the I guess the repetition to do that every day, like getting to the practice of doing that, that’s something I have definitely haven’t at all mastered but that’s something that I can see the benefits would be like lasting.

Laura Jenkins:
Oh, definitely. I think the other thing with self-care, it can particularly be helpful in blended families when you are facing all of those emotions that are coming up. An ex might have said something that’s made your blood boil or there’s an issue with stepchild dynamic or something like that. And self-care can really be a way of helping you just manage those emotions as well and help Like you said earlier, help you to get into a place of being able to respond rather than just reacting straight away when you’re feeling really triggered by something that’s happened.

Mia McLeod:
Definitely. I think that’s a huge one. It’s very much a discipline, isn’t it? Across the board, it’s like a discipline of not talking about things in front of the children. It’s a discipline of not reacting to someone else’s text message or email. It’s a discipline of maybe finding that time to do some self-care or take some time out. For some reason, it isn’t easy. Years and years later, you still find yourself falling into the same bad habits or patterns of behavior that don’t serve you very well. I mean, step by step, you’re kind of hoping that you’re getting a little bit better with time and age, but it’s not an easy journey. It’s a slow one. You do kind of slap your hand on your head every few months and just go, oh my God, I’m still behaving in the same way about this sort of thing. Why can’t I just move past this certain trigger that gets you every time?

Laura Jenkins:
I think that’s so normal and no one’s perfect and we’re all human and we all have feelings and it can be a really long road, I think, until you or do you ever get to a point of saying, hey, I’ve mastered this blended family gig? I don’t know if we ever get there. We’re all on this kind of lifelong journey of learning and adapting.

Mia McLeod:
Well, I think also, you know, if it wasn’t this, it’d be something else. You know, I think that the blender family is that this is my normal. But if it wasn’t this, it would probably be another trigger for something else. So it does take up a lot of your thinking and your mind and thinking everything is because of the blender family situation. But it’s probably like you say, it’s just life, right? Just being human and just trying to deal with Yeah. Life, this is just our shape of life. It’s not really different from others, but those others have got their own complications too.

Laura Jenkins:
They do. They do. Something that I always find super helpful when thinking about that is the mindset of I ‘get to’ be in a blended family. I get to be a bonus mum to these kids. And that has really helped me when I’m feeling like things are not fair or why did I choose this path. And if I flip it around, it really does help my state of mind. So that’s another one.

Mia McLeod:
Yeah, that’s a really good one actually. That’s a really good one.

Laura Jenkins:
So Mia, we’re almost at time here, but I’d like to finish by asking what advice would you give to other entrepreneurs who are also part of a blended family, especially those who might be struggling to find that balance with the demands of both?

Mia McLeod:
I think you’ve just got to kind of figure out your priorities at the end of the day and this is certainly something that’s always a work in progress but at the end of the day, what are you trying to achieve from your business and from your family? What does success look like for you? Is it all about revenue? Is it all about profit? Is it all about winning a new client? What’s the important thing? Or is it about running a business that makes you feel autonomous, having freedom and flexibility? Is it less about the money and more about kind of lifestyle? Is it, you know, for you, what does that look like? And I think, anchor back to that, And then for the family life as well, I think, again, it just comes down to your values and what’s important, what does success look like. Is it your kids kind of having all the things or is it actually them spending quality time with you and playing games and actually you having the capacity to be able to spend time with them in a a valuable way. And that’s something I’m constantly thinking about because I’m running from one meeting to the next and dropping off and then jumping on a Zoom. I constantly thinking to myself, I’m picking up and I’m being there and I’m present, but is this really present? You do have to constantly come back to your mindset of, is it really going to matter if I push this meeting to tomorrow and then I get to spend some quality time and actually get the pencils out and do some drawings with the girls. That would remember that for the rest of their life probably versus me sitting on another Zoom call that I’m going to forget about who it even was at five o’clock at night. And so I think you’ve got to constantly remind yourself the value of what you’re doing and the importance of that decision versus the other, the alternative. And that’s certainly something that is a constant work in progress. It’s definitely not something I’ve mastered, but something that’s on my mind a lot.

Laura Jenkins:
I love it and that is a perfect place to end. Mia, where can people go to connect with you and reach out in particular if they’ve got a digital marketing question or a blended family question?

Mia McLeod:
Well, you can follow my handles and we can add them to the show notes. It’s Digital Collective Co and Business Boss Collective. So, that’s probably the easiest way to connect. And then, yeah, feel free to DM if you’ve got any questions or I can help in any way. And yeah, keep your eye out for the Bonus Mum Blueprint. It’s coming out soon. Can’t wait to see it.

Laura Jenkins:
Yes, me too. Super exciting. Thank you, Mia. Really appreciate your time. I have so enjoyed our chat. Same.

Mia McLeod:
Thank you so much for having me, Laura. Really appreciate it.

Laura Jenkins:
Thanks for listening to the In The Blend podcast. The show notes for this episode are available at intheblend.com.au. And if you like what you heard, be sure to subscribe and please rate and review in your podcasting app. You can also follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.